Tabloid media | Amanda Knox: "They were only interested in the story"

Eighteen years ago, as a 20-year-old student, you embarked on your first big adventure: studying abroad in Italy. In Perugia. Who was Amanda Knox back then?

I was well-read, athletic, quirky, rather sheltered, and wanted to please people. I loved Harry Potter, yoga, and nature. Through my time abroad, I wanted to become fluent in Italian so I could work as a translator, ideally of poetry and literature. I loved other languages ​​and cultures and longed to travel the world.

On November 1, 2007, your roommate Meredith Kercher, a student from England, was the victim of a crime. A man with a prior conviction for burglary and violence against women surprised Meredith in her student apartment and brutally murdered her. Although it was clearly the work of a man known to the authorities, you, the young student from the USA, and your Italian boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito were made the prime suspects. The investigating authorities fabricated a story about a bizarre sex orgy that had gotten out of hand. What prejudices and distortions of perception played a role in this?

The police and the public prosecutor's office conducted the crime scene investigation very hastily in the first days of the investigation. Even before they had analyzed the forensic evidence from the scene, they had already drawn incorrect conclusions that then determined the course of their investigation. In other words, they developed tunnel vision. It certainly didn't help that I was a foreigner and didn't speak fluent Italian. Even after the murderer was clearly identified using his DNA, fingerprints, and footprints, the police and public prosecutor's office continued to pursue proceedings against me and ignored exculpatory evidence for me and my boyfriend.

Prosecutor Giuliano Mignini is even said to have linked the crime to Halloween and witchcraft. Did you feel that you were considered some kind of witch?

The prosecutor had previously investigated cases that, in his opinion, contained elements of conspiracy and occultism. In court, I was portrayed as a cunning, lascivious she-devil who did evil for evil's sake.

Many media outlets worldwide played along from the very beginning. Fed with information from the investigating authorities, they spread the image of the cold-blooded, perverse female killer kissing her boyfriend at the crime scene...

It seems the media were more motivated to publish a scandalous story than to investigate and report the truth. During the trial, some journalists became suspicious when the evidence proving my involvement in the crime failed to surface. But others stuck to the story that sold best: the sex monster next door.

The horror story of the killer sex monster was readily copied and spread; it was the sensation of the day worldwide. When did you realize how big this story was?

Since I was arrested and imprisoned within a few days, I had hardly any contact with the outside world. I think I only truly grasped the magnitude of the story after my release – when I witnessed firsthand how all the media outlets around the world reported on the case and how I was hounded by paparazzi for years.

Did you at least feel in court that a search for the truth was taking place?

The arguments presented by the prosecution and the way I was portrayed were completely detached from reality. But many people were fascinated by it because it appealed to their fears and fantasies. Especially after my conviction, I realized that most people didn't care about the truth. All they cared about was the story.

After the verdict, an initial appeal hearing was quickly held, in which you were acquitted. A remarkable scene unfolded during this hearing. You were so overwhelmed by the acquittal that you burst into tears. The court officials thought you had misunderstood the verdict and that was why you were crying. Did a culturally influenced bias affect the case from the outset?

This is a good example of a cultural misunderstanding in this case. There were also many examples of purely linguistic misunderstandings. For instance, how the police interpreted my text message to my boss during my interrogation. Or the fact that when Meredith's body was discovered, I didn't see it, and everyone was shouting in Italian, and it took me a long time to understand what was happening. This meant that I wasn't acting like everyone else, especially the other young women. Many people overlook this aspect of the case: who knew what and when, and who understood what and when. This actually had a strong influence on how people reacted, and it was one of the main reasons why the investigators misinterpreted my behavior.

Do you believe that things would have turned out differently if you had reacted from the beginning in a way that conforms to the classic "feminine" role model for women, preferably helplessly and crying hysterically?

I do believe that played a significant role. I inherited much of my behavior from my family, who are originally German. We tend to remain calmer in difficult and shocking situations, and that was misinterpreted by the Italian investigators.

Was there such a thing as solidarity among the prisoners in prison?

Because I was the "famous" inmate, most of the other inmates were very curious about me and the case, but I didn't talk about it. Nevertheless, many of them, and even some of the guards, believed in my innocence. They cheered me when I was released.

How has your time in prison changed you as a person?

I had to grow up very quickly, and in a very harsh environment. I transformed from a very outgoing, cheerful, and free-spirited person into a very introverted, sad, and cautious person. I contemplated suicide. But I also learned to rely on myself and my loved ones. Now I'm a mixture of all these things—outgoing and introverted, cheerful and sad, free-spirited and cautious.

Around the world, the media invented their own "Amanda Knox." In Germany, for example, "Der Spiegel" decided to habitually refer to her as the "angel with the ice-blue eyes." People were conditioned to think, every time they saw a photo of Amanda Knox: "Oh, there she is again, that cold-blooded, perverse killer from America." Did you see that look on people's faces?

I move through the world aware that many people already have strong opinions about me, and that can be very alienating. For many years, even when I was free, I felt very isolated and alone. I was afraid to meet new people or be around strangers. Over the years, I've gotten used to this feeling, but it still makes me uncomfortable. Fortunately, most people who recognize me in public and approach me are kind to me.

Has anyone actually apologized?

No journalist, police officer, or prosecutor involved in this case has ever apologized to me. However, some public figures who were previously convinced of my guilt have apologized to me, and for that I am very grateful.

The miniseries "The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox," which you were involved in as a producer, is currently streaming on Disney+. How does it feel to see the darkest part of your own life portrayed as a series?

It was very healing for me to learn how to put into words what Meredith and I went through. I am very grateful to all my creative partners on this project for treating me with respect and for producing a piece that makes me feel seen for who I truly am.

If the killer had come on a different day, it could have been you, and Meredith Kercher would still be alive. Do you ever feel guilty?

Of the two of us, I'm the only one who survived to tell the story. Sometimes I feel guilty as a survivor, but I'm also grateful to be alive and to have goals, because you can't take life for granted.

They now have two young children. They once said that becoming a mother triggered a number of new anxieties and traumas...

My entire adult life, I've felt like I've lived in the shadow of the worst thing that ever happened to me and Meredith. I carry the stigma of being the girl who was mistaken for a murderer. When I became pregnant, I suddenly had a desire for healing. Because I didn't want to pass my trauma on to my daughter. I wanted my daughter to grow up in a world that was kinder to her than it had been to me.

Someday your children will have to grapple with a murder that happened long before they were born, in another part of the world. How will you prepare them for that?

My four-year-old daughter has already started asking questions, and all I can do is try to answer her honestly in an age-appropriate way.

You are a person who also enjoys laughing. Often you laugh out of a healthy fatalism or a sense of the absurd. You spent four years in prison in Italy for a crime you didn't commit. Do you remember when you were first able to laugh again?

Humor has always been a way for me to release tension, and I also enjoyed singing for the same purpose. It took a while before I could laugh and tell jokes again, but it happened faster than you'd think. You either laugh or you cry. I do both.